by Autumn Birt
My husband is entirely at fault for this post. And Bruce. We’ll get to Bruce’s role in a bit. First, my husband…
There are two reasons my husband became… well, my husband. The first was because I owned a green Jeep. The second was because I knew how to cook. I love food. Actually, food is love in my family. Thank goodness high metabolism runs in my genes as well, ‘cause we have LOTS of love. I introduced my husband, then boyfriend, to this concept very early. Jump ahead… many years to last fall when my husband discovered Big Green Eggs.
If you have yet to discover Big Green Eggs, stop reading this post now and block it from your memory. You just don’t need to go farther. But if you love food, especially grilled and smoked, if you ever thought baking bread or pizza over a wood fire sounded like a great idea in the fall… well, you’ve probably already heard of Big Green Eggs. Despite my eye rolling and near epileptic fit at the cost, I now use my Big Green Egg more than my oven. And on those two to five nights a week that I’m standing on my porch (through thunderstorms, snow, ice ‘events’, and gorgeous evenings), as well as occasional breakfasts and lunches to cook something tasty on my Egg, I wonder… what exactly laid it?
This is where Bruce comes in.
About the time my Big Green Egg rolled into my life, Bruce wrote a post on some of the great resources in his fantasy library. Many of them ended up on my Yule list… and I did receive the Element Encyclopedia of Magical Creatures. What fantasy author doesn’t have at least one fantasy creature resource list or grimoire sitting around?! So well armed on the myriad creatures of fable and myth thanks to Bruce, I set out to determine what creature lays big green eggs.
I’d like to note that I’m assuming no infant, endangered mythical creatures are harmed in the production of Big Green Eggs. One, because I’m vegetarian and don’t want to destroy the love affair I have with my Egg and two, because the line separating the top ‘lid’ from the bottom charcoal chamber is straight. I picture the hatching process running like an egg cesarean. Hatchlings-to-be whose emergence is imminent are helped along before they break through the fragile – and valuable – shell. Otherwise, considering the rarity of mythical creatures as it is, this would not be a very sustainable business venture!
Considering these are eggs, that mostly limits the search for potential parents to feathered or reptilian creatures. Nothing is one hundred percent straightforward with these sorts of creatures though. Considering the size of even my Egg, which is a medium and over a foot in diameter, dragons come to mind. I have to admit, standing next to a large or extra large Egg and thinking about the beast, especially a dragonish beast, that must have laid it… my palms get a little sweaty. That is a seriously large animal! Who would even have the gall to take an egg from such a creature (and survive)?!
The temperature extremes that Eggs endure also points to the dragon potentiality (and away from not fiery creatures like hippogriffs, which, it turns out, do lay eggs). I’ve used my Egg during Maine’s lovely and brisk winters where you can throw a cup of boiling water in the air to make snow fireworks (someday I’ll post a list of things we do in Maine to stay entertained during the winter… who knew kayaks were useful in January?) and gotten it well over 500 degrees without any sign of strain or cracks.
So dragons for the big Eggs seems logical. But what about the small ones like the mini version? Small dragons? Or maybe a phoenix? Now the idea of raising a flock of phoenix for egg production like some sort of fiery chicken sounds doable… and might be a potential green energy heat source! Hmmm… I wish my reference book contained more on care and feeding!
I’ll keep looking through my book for more potential egg-parental creatures. I don’t think I’ve even begun to compile the complete list! Let me know if you have any suggestions. 🙂
– Autumn has gone insane. She likes it here though and is being very productive in her writing as all those voices in her head finally make sense. Find out more about Autumn and her writing at her website www.AutumnWriting.com or find her online on Twitter at @weifarer or on her Facebook page.